Got the T-Shirt!

I shared this picture on my Facebook page yesterday, and it has been one of my most popular posts – so I thought I’d pop it on here for non-Facebook users.

How we feel on Mondays (or any day, actually)…

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Chew Much?

I recently posted this comment on my Facebook page, and had to share the responses I got as they made me laugh…

Naughty Alife chewed up my SD camera card and card reader this morning, meaning I lost about 100 photos!! What's the worst thing your pup has chewed up? Until this point it was the £10 note for Alfie! :/

“Oh dear! Poor Alfie! Wooden/Perspex heel on my shoes was gutting!”

“Poppy chewed my phone charger, I think that’s the worst but my husband would disagree as she ate his work laptop bag which he thinks is much worse:-)”

“Thankfully Archie has only chewed up a cheque (which got replaced) and a cable for my tablet which I could replace as well. Fingers crossed that's the worst of it ;)"

“Me!”

“Probably my D&G Specs... The ear pieces are now two extremely sharp metal spokes and they sit extremely crookedly on my head - luckily I wear contacts 99% of the time so I only need wear them just before bed!”

“My glasses. Had to wait a week before I could see clearly again”!

“Darcy has chewed the door surround at Phil’s house :/ and when Bella was a puppy she ate my mums house including the sky tv and phone cable!”

“Floss, my dads dog chewed his false teeth haha, dad wasn't laughing”!

“The receipt for my engagement ring, luckily I liked it”!

“Winston’s eaten 3 sofas and looks like Rosie’s heading down the same path”!

“Our lab Ruby chewed up a lottery ticket a few weeks ago!! I spent ages trying to piece the remaining bits together to see if I could read the numbers until my other half came in that evening and reassured me that it was one he'd already checked! Phew”!!

“My living room carpet now needs replacing thanks 2 my pup Bailey chewing a big hole in the middle of it” 

“2 mobile phones, a brand new pair of £140 shoes straight out of the box, credit card, phone charger, laptop charger, plug off the iron, £20 note....I could go on for a while”…

“I woke up once to find Rio, a 9 year old chocolate lab, going for my Swarovski earrings that were on the coffee table. Luckily I screamed so loud I made him jump and he spat them out. Oh and he ate a whole bag of dolly mixture at the weekend lol”!

“3 pairs of glasses, a pair of Prada sunnies, 2 pairs of £100 3D glasses, 2 sets of iPad headphones, the coffee table legs... I think that about covers it ?!”

“Paracetmol packet luckily leaving the tablets all on the floor and not eating them”!!!!

“Haha, these are very funny - although I feel bad for laughing. I think the worst Lily has chewed is our Internet cable and hubbies shoes (luckily she isn't bothered about mine)”

“My 15 week old Lab Puppy has only managed to get the nozzle on our hoover and the phone wire! I'm hoping that’s all she gets! She isn't left alone long enough to get up to too much mischief”!

“Alfie chewed my friends boots that she left at the door in my house , 2 massive holes totally unwearable !! She must have stinky feet I reckon ??
P.s cost me a new pair though!”

“A pair of Churches Shoes !”

“Lincoln still has a shoe fetish and is 4 now! But have to say the worst thing he ate that he wasn't supposed to was a rubber wine cork, he swallowed it whole and it got stuck in his intestine, had to have an emergency operation or he would have died, cost us £1000 in total!! He was 3 so still not a puppy!! He's just naughty and if you tell him no he goes out of his way to get whatever it is”!!!

“Between my 3 doggies they've managed to eat the legs of kitchen table, 2 sets of kitchen chairs(replaced chairs ate the new ones) ,skirting boards, decking, took a nice chunk out of the sofa, numerous shoes and chargers, and the leather case containing our wedding album” :-)

“A mobile phone, my cashmere jumper, log basket, a drawer of an antique desk belonging to my parents that i had forgotten to close.............joy and chaos in equal measure is how I sum up life since Lottie joined us!”

“Don't even get me started”!!!!

“My mobile phone charger i have to charge it on the PC now (naughty Leo) lol”

“X2 mobile phones & Ray Ban sunglasses”!!!!

“Molly chewed every electrical cable I had, low ceiling so no ceiling lights, and she chewed all my lamps. I spent the first 6 months of having her in the dark! Touch wood Bob’s only eaten a house plant so far!”

“Mine’s gross!! Here we go!! Changing my sons dirty nappy and I ran outta wipes so went and got some came back in and my hubby's dog had ate the entire dirty nappy contents and all!!! Yak!! So ..... Later that evening I let her out for last time before bed for her to re poo it out in front of me and my friend who was over at the time then she turned round and ate it all back up!!! YES DISGUSTING!!! But that's worst thing she’s eaten… made me throw up”!!

“Alfie has also eaten Ray Bans, I forgot that... and he's eaten numerous shoes. He ate a roll of Sellotape the other day - which wasn't expensive but was REALLY inconvenient as I needed it”!!!!

“Paddy, my parents Lab, ate 120 bags of pick'n'mix we'd put together for my wedding!! Lolly sticks, wrappers, paper bags, the lot”!!!!

“My hubby's dogs also as well as a dirty nappy ate my Dominos!!! Put it on side to pop to the loo, came back in to no pizza just a chewed up box in her bed literally gone - seconds and it was all over!! Heartbreaking Dominos of all pizzas the king of pizzas!! If she ever pinches one of my Krispy Kremes she will be sorry lol”!

“Lol mine don’t chew my house things!! Just sneak off food whenever they can!! They eat way too much! Lol”!

“Many years ago, my English Setter pup ate a plastic greenhouse, in a morning! Unfortunately, it was to have been our son’s birthday present, so he didn't even get to see it”!!

“Mine and Jen’s Jack Russell Phoebe, chewed my wallet with the contents of £100 chewed into pieces”.

“The list is endless my 10 month old Setter Munster Landers have eaten most things including, shoes, blankets, phone chargers, cushions, chair, 9 toilet rolls in one go, sponges, new phone, bank card, lap top chargers, coats, glass photo frame but the worst one was walking in with my boy Archie eating a carving knife”!!

“Just got home to a huge bite size hole in my birthing ball - needed a bounce to ease my cramps!!! Cheers Rocco!”

“Ventolin inhaler ,poor sod was lets say very alert for a good few hours”!

“Shoes... What more do I have to say??! And the remote, and a credit card”!

“2 remotes! 2 chair legs the wall laptop cable!!! The list goes on…”

If you have any stories of your own email me at lisa@barkitty.co.uk and I’ll share them!
View this list online, and see the numerous comments being added all time time… www.facebook.com/barkittypetboutique

Lisa x
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Learn a lesson from your dog

I think dogs have it sorted....

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50 things every dog should do before it dies!

CANINE BUCKET LIST!

Only thing missing is no 51, visit Barkitty Pet Boutique :)

Taken from website: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/pets/9623886/50-things-to-do-before-you-die-if-youre-a-dog.html

50 things every dog should do before it dies!

1. Flop down in front of a morning fire

2. Go for a swim in the sea

3. Go mad in the snow

4. Dig up a flower bed

5. Do the 'Beethoven' shake and soak everyone around you

6. Have your own spot on the sofa

7. Accompany your owner on a run/cycle ride

8. Attend a family picnic

9. Help your owner bad a date

10. Cheer your owner up when they are down

11. Visit a different continent

12. Roll around in a really stinky, muddy puddle

13. Ruin a pair or slippers or shoes

14. Sleep in your owners bed

15. Wake your owner with a big wet sloppy kiss

16. Chase a cat during a dream

17. Learn the word for 'sit' in another language

18. Join in a football game in the park

19. Meet a famous dog

20. Try your paws at dancing

21. Convince your owner you can howl English words

22. Get filthy within 30 minutes of a bath

23. Howl along with your favourite song

24. Ride in an open top car

25. Learn to skateboard

26. Have a personalised Christmas stocking

27. Show the postman who's boss

28. Be a ring bearer at a wedding

29. Try to follow a squirrel up a tree

30. Go to work with your owner

31. Have your own social media page

32. Bound through a forest

33. Have a personalised kennel

34. Go on a boat and get your sea legs

35. Play frisbee on the beach

36. Receive your own birthday card

37. Steal someone's lunch when they're not looking

38. Watch an entire episode of 'The Washing Machine'

39. Eat doggy ice cream

40. Create a diversion and steal another dog's dinner

41. Rug a doggy marathon

42. Receive a doggy birthday cake

43. Rip the stuffing out of a pillow or cushion

44. Unwrap birthday presents

45. Watch Lassie on TV

46. Be in a family portrait

47. Have a stand off with your own reflection

48. Have a favourite local pub

49. Star in a YouTube video

50. Sleep in a boutique dog hotel

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Dogs Welcome, People Tolerated

The Barkitty motto! Haha

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Couples Counselling

I really enjoy the daily cartoons from 'Off the Leash'. Here's a recent favourite...

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You're not going out dressed like that...

Another fab illustration by Gemma Correll. She gets better & better!

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What's it all about? Alfie!

August 22nd 2012

Finally, after 10 years of nagging, my husband has finally realised I am always right and agreed to us getting a puppy, Alfie.

Nikki had been bringing a selection of her pups from her dog Bella’s litter of 8 into the shop for a while, to socialise them and give them a break from the others. We have always had Labradors in the family so I knew what wonderful dogs they are; and when I saw Alfie I just fell in love! Jason was keen to come and meet him – and as soon as he did he felt the same, and Alfie was ours!

He is such a good boy – anyone who has met him in the shop or out-and-about comment on how well behaved he is! He sits very obediently on the shop floor, providing a warm welcome to customers and their doggies alike.
 
We can’t believe how much he is growing – everyday he looks a little bit bigger and has learned more. He has a camouflage Puppia harness and a House of Paws ‘woof’ harness – both very boyish! I think Jason was right to agree to a male Labrador, as I would have sooner or later succumbed to the temptation of dressing up a little female dog!

So, the big question, how is he getting on with 6 year old cat Jasmine? Well… so far, so good. As I write we are all 3 lounging in the same room – with no fur flying or claws out! We are remaining very calm when they are near each other, and allowing Jasmine to take control of the situation. We always keep doors open so she can leave the room at any time, and never force them to be near each other. As soon as Alfie looks like he might chase her we firmly tell him “no”, because that’s when the problems could begin.

So come in to the shop to say hello to Alfie and give him a cuddle. He can normally be found hiding things under the large central tables and generally acting cute in exchange for puppy treats! See you soon…

Lisa x
 

Have you ever been this tired?

Something's not quite right here...

Ways for a cat to train its human...

Someone bought me this great book so I thought I'd share some of the funnier bits. It's called 100 ways for a cat to train its human! I won't write all 100 but here are some of my favourites:

* To make sure your human understands that you are alpha cat, head of the family and pack leader institute a status-reduction programme immediately. Your human must learn that you have first right to all chairs, beds and doorways. You expect to be fed first and go through doors first. A happy human knows its place in the pecking order - well below that of the cat.

* Though humans cannot speak cat they vocalise repeatedly. Most of their vocalisations are meaningless and can be safely ignored.

* A few human vocalisations are worth remembering. Keep an ear open for one aversive human vocalisation - the 'vet' noise. When you hear this leave home for the whole day, or if you are kept indoors, hide.

* You may also detect a repeated sound such as 'Sam', 'Tibbles' or 'Sooty'. This sound marks a primitive human attempt at the kitten-call chirrup. Dogs come when they are called. We cats take a message and get back later - maybe.

* Obedience training - take control of your human and never let it initiate an action. If your human walks towards you, walk away. If it tries to pet you, turn your back. All petting and games should be at your timing, not its choice.

* Knead their lap with your front paws. Humans appreciate this kitten-like gesture but find it extremely painful. Have fun seeing their mix of pleasure and pain.

* Place your bottom on the newspaper your human is reading, being careful to cover the area being scanned by its eyes.

* If you have a gentle and loving human, claw its tights or nip its ankles. Do not do this with agressive humans , as it can result in the boot.

* Refuse to eat from a can of food that has been opened from a previous meal. This will train your owner into buying a new small can for each meal, and we cats know this is the most expensive and tasty sort of food.

* Letting humans sleep inside the bed with you is a good way to ensure a night-long hot-water bottle.

* Reclaim the duvet during the night. This is done by gentle but firm pressure, inching your way so that the sleeping human cannot help but move off your space. This photo was actually taken when me and husband were in the bed (trying to sleep). Could she be any more central??

* Anything soft - clean laundry, mink coats, lingerie, ball gowns - makes a cat bed, except a newly purchased cat bed.

* Do some catnip. Lie on your back and roll your eyeballs. Making your human laugh is they key to a continuous supply. A laughing human soon becomes a catnip drug dealer.

* Ways of avoiding swallowing a pill include: running up on the curtains and drapes, jumping on the top of the wardrobe, climbing up a tree, hiding on the roof, crawling up the chimney, diving out of the window, sitting very quietly indeed in a dark cupboard.

* If human mating activities interfere with your sleep, take a firm line. Put an end to those interruptions by sleeping between the human pair. If necessary, rehome one of the humans.

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Exercising with your dog!

This is taken from a website I found, thought I'd share :)

You've seen those ads on TV promising amazing results from all sorts of contraptions. Well, there's no need to invest in fancy equipment. If you have (or can borrow) a dog, you have everything you need to get in shape now!!! The following exercises can be done anywhere, anytime.

Inner Thighs: Place the dog's favorite toy between thighs. Press tighter than the dog can pull. Do not attempt bare legged - dogs who favor shortcuts to success will just dig the toy out. You could be damaged

Upper Body Strength: Lift the dog - off the couch, off the bed, out of the flower bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat. As the dog ages, this exercise is reversed - onto the couch, onto the bed, into the car and so on

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 1: Remove your puppy from unsuitable tight places. If they're too small for him, they're certainly too small for you. Do it anyway!

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 2: Practice not falling when your dog bounds across the full length of the room, sails through the air, and slams both front paws into the back of your knees.

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 3: (for use with multiple dogs) Remove all dogs from lap and answer the phone before it stops ringing.

Balance and Coordination, Exercise 4: (alternate) For older dogs, attempt to cross a room without tripping over the dog. Get off your couch without crushing any part of a sleeping elderly dog.

Upper Arms: Throw the ball. Throw the squeaky toy. Throw the Frisbee. Repeat until nauseous.

Upper Arms: (alternate) Tug the rope. Tug the pull toy. Tug the sock. Repeat until your shoulder is dislocated or the dog gives up (we all know which comes first).

Hand Coordination: Remove foreign object from dog's locked jaw. This exercise is especially popular with puppy owners. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Remember, this is a timed exercise. Movements must be quick and precise (think concert pianist) to prevent trips to the vet, which only offer the minimal exercise benefit of jaw firming clenches.

Calves: After the dog has worn out the rest of your body, hang a circular toy on your ankle and let the dog tug while you tug back. WARNING: This is feasible only for those with strong bones and small dogs. Have you taken your calcium supplement today?

Calves: (alternate) Run after dog - pick any reason, there are plenty. Dogs of any size can be used for this exercise. Greyhounds are inadvisable.

Neck Muscles: Attempt to outmaneuver the canine tongue headed for your ear, mouth, or eyeball. This is a lifelong fitness program. A dog is never too old or too feeble to "French Kiss" you when you least expect it.

Laws of cat behaviour

I think this will apply to most cats... sourced from a website (I can't remember which one) :)

LAW OF CAT INERTIA
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

LAW OF CAT MOTION
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter +  It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE
As yet undiscovered.

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How to give a cat a pill

This was sent to me on an email, thought I'd share...

How to give a cat a pill
1.   Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 
2.   Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 
3.   Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
 4.   Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl, and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat.
Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
 5.   Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.
Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
6.  Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans.
Drink glass of water to take taste away.
Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbours shed.
Get another pill.
Place cat in cupboard & close door onto neck to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
 7.   Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab.
Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Arrange for SPCA to collect cat, and ring local pet shop to see if they have any goldfish.

How to give a dog a pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.

Dog definitions

Also sent to me on an email, thought I'd share :)


LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. This can also be done to human's crotches.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards;
the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting,
rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home

SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require..... especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return. If not, you can always sniff their crotches.

Cat rules (OK)...

Do these 'cat rules' sound familiar? They definitely apply in our house...